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Christian Network

There is enough adversity in our earthly existence without us adding unnecessary adversity on top of it. Sometimes we sanctify our own emotional, psychological and spiritual maladies and then assume the pain they continue to cause is a normal part of the trials and sufferings of the authentic Christian life. Think of individuals who believe that God is a angrily perfectionist Deity who will cut them off if they do not always perform well because their earthly father was just such a "deity" in their family of origin. Persons with such a history often spend much of their lives condemning themselves every time they fail in something they believe God wants them to do or not do. They think this human perfectionism, and its resulting spirit of self-condemnation, is somehow part of God’s will for their lives. They think it is part of being a Christian. This is unspeakably tragic.

The life of every believer will contain the trials and tribulations that Jesus spoke of and experienced Himself. It is inevitable that we will all go through seasons of hardship and difficulty; it is the nature of life in a still fallen world. But common adversity that is allowed by God is different from some kind of masochistic pain we inflict on ourselves. Continuing with the example of the son or daughter of a very flawed parent it is God’s desire to show this person a different kind of Parent, One who loves them unconditionally and Who will never condemn them, no matter how many times they fall short of the mark. This is the Father we gain when we put our faith in the Son. He longs to set us free from the shackles of conditional love that so many of us carry because our image of the old parent has not yet given way to the truth of Who our new Parent is.

One way we can discern the difference between pain that comes from adversity and that which comes from our own pathology is to look at the results, over time, the pain produces in us. One of the reasons God does not immediately take His children home once they become His children is because He desires for us to develop character through suffering. The Bible tells us that the Father Himself is "long-suffering" and this is borne out by the fact that it also says His Son was taught obedience by suffering during His time on Earth. For reasons that are admittedly hard for human beings to understand our Lord has chosen the hardships produced by living in this cursed world to meld us into His image.

When we chose to endure suffering which is in His will for us to endure we can allow that suffering to make us both stronger and more compassionate people. When this happens it is evidence that we are growing into the likeness of God. In contrast to this process pain we inflict on ourselves, which He never intended for us to experience, almost always ends in bitterness if we do not come to consciously see it for what it is and reject it. While it is true that any pain we experience can result in bitterness, if we chose to rebel against its presence in our lives, self-inflicted suffering always does.

The key to being delivered from this false sanctification of unnecessary pain is found above in the use of the word "consciously". We must come to consciously see it for what it is, pointless and needless. Once we know that God did not somehow ordain this misery we can reject it and banish it from our lives. Part of doing that involves healing and part of it involves repentance. We need healing from the damage caused by others in our past, but we also need to repent of the wrong ways we have responded to that damage. For this second thing, as in so many aspects of the Christian life, forgiveness is the key. When healing and repentance have both done their work the result is a peace and consolation that will make life here far more abundant than we ever thought possible.