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Christian Network

Stories of "dark nights of the soul" are fairly numerous in Christian literature today. In these accounts believers often talk about how they wrestled with God during these times of emotional and spiritual turmoil which often are related to loss. They also often describe how it came down to a sort of "one-on-One" with the Lord. Other believers were absent in these times of anger, grief and doubt; the implication being that these occasions are always meant to be experienced alone with God.

In many cases this kind of event truly is meant to be experienced alone. Jesus had most of his struggles with temptation in solitude, the forty days in the desert and the Garden of Gethsemane being the two best examples. In fact most, if not all Christians will have at least one period in their lives in which the presence of other human beings is not part of the divine plan. It is important to realize that we ultimately live for an audience of One. We will all someday meet our Lord at the beginning of our eternity and no mortal man will be at our side. It will be just him and us. This is the will of God.

But as I meditate on some of the accounts of the dark nights of certain individuals I cannot help but wonder if they might not have benefited from some human company at the very moments they feel they need to be broken before God and God alone. There is a psychological theory that grieving, for example, needs to be done before others for healing to occur. When we cry in solitude we do not have someone to physically receive and identify with our loss and pain. Tears shed in emotional isolation cannot help us move on. Breaking down in someone’s arms often can.

Many would say that a believer is never alone in his or her grief that God is always directly present to comfort and console. I would partially challenge this assumption. God sometimes wants his children to comfort one another. In the Bible we are called to bear one another’s burdens. There are times when we need the presence and empathy of another human being in our struggle with grief and the anger which so often precedes it. The term "Jesus-with-skin-on" applies here. When Jesus ascended to heaven he left us with two great consolations, his Spirit and each other.

Sometimes all we need is God in the sense that he decides to directly touch us by his Spirit, apart from human intermediaries. No doubt these times are many in the Christian life. But it is a mistake to assume that every time we are in a great struggle with the pain of our existence we must only look to God in this direct sense. Our Lord works through his people as well. If we did not need the empathy of others, the touch of a friend or family member when we are in emotional anguish, God would not have commanded us to be compassionate to those in need of compassion. He would simply provide that compassion apart from others every time it was needed.

Perhaps the church needs to examine the story of someone’s supposed need to be "alone with God" in the midst of great trial. Maybe this "need" isn’t indicative of God’s will as much as it is of the human fear of relying on others. It could be that the person in question just does not know how to reach out to others for help or is afraid that if they did reach out no one would be willing to bear their burdens with them. God’s people are called to help these persons whenever we realize such help is needed.

Human beings need God and they need one another, in that order. Sometimes God’s direct presence really is central to his plan to bring us through a particular struggle. But on many other occasions God working through Christians who love us is also his perfect will to bring about our brokenness and ultimate healing.