When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple!

The Jenny Joseph poem, ‘Warning’, amuses me. I tease my family that I shall grow old disgracefully like the old woman in the poem. Last week I saw some purple hair dye and couldn’t resist purchasing it, having made sure that it would wash out! When I got home I applied it, and then waited to see what the reaction would be. It was most gratifying. John-Paul nearly had a heart attack on the spot, pronounced me ‘WEIRD’, and said that he would not be seen dead with me looking like that. David is a very unobservant man, and I have often joked that if I dyed my hair purple there was a good chance he wouldn’t notice, well I was wrong! He came in from work and said something very rude indeed! I photographed myself sporting my new hair colour, and using the wonders of modern technology, e-mailed the picture to all my family. The reaction was entirely predictable, I had neglected to tell them that the dye was not permanent, and there were suggestions that I should invest in a Muslim woman’s burkha until it had grown out. My youngest sister called me lovingly, a ‘senile old trout’, saying I had better do something about it before an upcoming family gathering, or they would disown me! My Mother, as always, was shaking her head wondering where she had gone wrong! I know it was naughty to wind them up, but it did give me a few light hearted moments thinking of the phone calls and e-mails that were undoubtedly going back and forth as the family tried to work out what to do with this enfant terrible, grown old! I soon restored my hair to its usual, unexciting colour, although I fear that my escapade will require me to invest in quite a lot of hair conditioner to get it back to normal!

I like to think that God has a good sense of humour and has a chuckle at the more amusing side of human nature!