A grown man awaiting surgery in the hospital was talking with his father. "Dad," he said, "sure hope I can be home for Father's Day. I felt awful years ago when I was 10, because I never gave you a gift that year."

The father replied, "Mark, I remember that Saturday before Father's Day. I saw you in the store. I watched as you picked up the cigars and stuffed them in your pocket. I knew you had no money, and I was sad because I thought you were going to run out of the store without paying. But as soon as you hid the cigars, you pulled them out and put them back."

"When you stayed out playing all the next day because you had no present, you probably thought I was hurt. You're wrong. When you put the cigars back and decided not to break the law, Mark, you gave me the best present I ever received." (Mark Giorgino, Leadership, Spring 89, 45)

It is a father’s job to instill character in his children. In fact, the Bible lays all religious training on the father, it is his job to teach the things of God to his children. If you are old enough to be a father, you are old enough to be wise. And if you are not wise in the ways of the Lord, you need to take a crash course in wisdom. The very souls of your children are in your hands. I can tell you from observation, while the mother’s influence is powerful, your children will learn their moral, ethical and religious behavior from you. If you place very little emphasis on your faith, your children will end up placing none in theirs. And it has to do as much what you do as what you say. This old saw about do what I say not what I do doesn’t get it. If you want to be a father worth listening to, you have to be real and honest and committed to Christ.

The best source for wisdom is the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs 3, a wise father gives his son counsel. Right off the bat we discover that the wise father is a teacher. The purpose of his teaching is so that his child’s life might be long and that he might have peace. The wise father cannot make peace come to the world, but he can help his children find peace in their lives.

In verse three the writer said, "Do not let kindness and truth leave you." Most translations have the words "loyalty" and "faithfulness." These two words refer to the unity and solidarity between the parties of a covenant relationship. There is a covenant relationship between parents and children. We are bound to our children as we are bound to God in covenant and we are in charge of their welfare.

Loyalty is not a common trait in our society. People sell themselves to the highest bidder, sacrificing long tern relationships for short tern gains. So people are disloyal to friends and family, to jobs and careers, and to God and his church. If one cannot be loyal to his God how can anyone expect him to be loyal to anyone else. If you will turn away from God for a moment's pleasure or you are disloyal to your church because things are not going your way, then why should anyone trust you with anything else? If you are not loyal in the most basic relationships in life why should we expect your loyalty in the larger matters of Life?

The wise father teaches loyalty by his words but also by his deeds. A Loyal father does not lie to his son and he does not sexually abuse his daughter. If a father does not teach loyalty to his family by his life, then he should never be surprised when his children act disloyal to him. If a father is loyal to his God and his family, he will have taught his children a most basic lesson.

The second word is faithfulness. This is the word that best describes God's part in the covenant, He is faithful. The word means that a person is reliable, he or she can be trusted. Faithfulness is the basis for all human relationships. No marriage can last if the partners are not faithful. In fact, I would say that in almost every case, when a marriage ends, faithlessness is involved. There are all kinds of faithlessness. The most obvious is sexual infidelity. But there are other kinds such as belittling your wife out of spite. There is nothing faithful about that. There is nothing faithful about a husband who will allow his job to be more important than his wife and family. Faithlessness takes place every time one fantasies about some other woman. No marriage can last long when there is faithlessness; it cannot be hidden from the children, it infects them and is likely to teach them to also be faithless. For a long and peaceful life faithfulness is a must.

A father teaches faithfulness to God by his commitment to serving God and being active in Church. I have to tell you, some of you are ruining the lives of your children by teaching them that sports and other activities are more important than Church. You are going to be sorely disappointed when they grow up and have no commitment to faith. Some of you are under the impression that a decision of faith is all that is needed. But faith forms over time in children. A decision of faith is only the beginning and faith may not be fully formed until later. You start putting sports and other activities before worship and training and Christian fellowship and your children’s faith development may very well be short circuited. Fathers, it falls on your shoulders to teach priority to your children. There is no room for child-fathers. Paul said that when he became a man, he put away childish things. Fathers have the same commitment. If you are not serious and committed to your faith, your children, in all likelihood will not be either.

The wise father also disciplines. We can all remember having the living day lights beat out of us. But there are all kinds of discipline. There is the discipline that will not over indulge in anything, whether it is food or sports or even religion. Some parents always quote scripture and tell their kids that they are going to hell while not practicing what they preach, they misuse religion. But the father who insists that his family go to church because its right and not let his children stay home is practicing discipline. The disciplined father, by word and deed, teaches his children to love God and is a wise father. He, does not provoke his children to wrath but disciplines out of love. The father who does not discipline, destroys the life of his children.

When a father disciplines his children, he is being like God. Notice verse 12, "For whom the Lord loves he reproves, even as a father, the son in whom he delights." The father shows love by discipline, it's the father that doesn't care about his children is the one that doesn't discipline.

There is a sense of urgency in my words today. We only have a few, short years that really count and then they are on their own. And it is so brief, the time passes by so fast; the words from Fiddler on the Roof explain:

I quoted those words here 15 years ago on my first Father’s Day at Trinity. My children could literally sit on my knees. Today, 15 short years later they are grown. And she is a beauty and he is so tall! Guys it goes by so fast. This sense of urgency forces us to decide between what would be nice do to and what is necessary and important. We can’t do everything. We have to choose to be wise fathers and stick to it because our time will be over before we know it. Soon they will have their own children and we will be gone.

You want to be a father worth listening to. Be wise in the things of God, be loyal and faithful. Discipline, not out of anger, but out of love and kindness. At the end of your days, your children will honor you by the choices they make and the lives they live.