" SMILEYS!"
The following items are not made up- the following advertisements and classifieds actually appeared in various newspapers...
- "Iliterate? Write today for free help."
- "Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again."
- "Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
- "Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children."
- "Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel."
- "Stock up and save. Limit: one."
- "3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred."
- "Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary."
- "Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00"
- "Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too."
- "We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."
- "Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours."
- "Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast."
- "Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first."
- "Christmas tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person."
- "Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential."
- "Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."
- "And now, the Superstore-unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience."
- "We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."