Genesis 2.18-25


As you can tell from our text, I am going to talk to you about marriage. I
intend, for the most part, simply to remind you of things that you already
know. I'm going to do that, first, to encourage you. There are many things
that you are doing right, and you need to see that so that you might
continue on doing them. The second reason that I'm going to talk to you
about marriage is so that you can make whatever corrections need to be made
so that your marriages might be even better. We all can do better at
everything. Now, those of you who are single, don't think that this is a
sermon that you can sleep through. I will have a word for you as well. And I
hope that you teens listen carefully also.

Let's start with this. God said, 'It is not good that the man should be
alone.' This is such a profound statement. Something was wrong with God's
perfect creation. There was something that was not good. But for you to
understand this properly I need to pose a question. Why? Why was it not good
that the man should be alone? We could answer that as so many do. It was not
good that Adam was alone because his life would somehow be incomplete. It
wouldn't be as satisfying as it might. But is that how the text answers that
question? The text doesn't talk about Adam needing someone to satisfy him.
Rather, he needs someone who will help him. This points us back to the
reason for Adam's creation. Adam was created to serve Jesus. He was given
dominion. He was serve Jesus as the wise master over creation. So, 'it is
not good that the man should be alone' because, if alone, he could not
fulfill this purpose. And so, Eve comes on the scene as a wife, as a
partner, as someone to help Adam meet that goal. Marriage is established
with this purpose in view.

The prime purpose of your marriage is that you might serve Jesus. It is
important for you to think in this way because all too often the assumed
purpose of marriage is personal satisfaction. Now, marriage does satisfy.
But that is not its primary purpose. And it is just like Satan to take a
little bit of the truth to hide a very large lie. The prime purpose of your
marriage is to serve Christ. And so, as you evaluate your marriage, this is
the standard that you are to use. 'How are we doing serving Jesus as a
couple?'

Seeing this as the first purpose affects other decisions that married
couples make. These are all tied to the main purpose of serving Jesus. Here,
I'm thinking about things like a job [what kind?], a house [where?],
children [how many?]. This also says something important about the training
of the children. They need to be taught to view their future marriage in
terms of serving Jesus. They need to be able to say, 'I am marrying this
person because we can serve Jesus better together than separately'. So, the
first point is this. The primary purpose of your marriage is that you might
help each other serve Jesus better.

Now, let's move on to verse 25. 'And the man and his wife were both naked
and were not ashamed.' What is this about? I recently pointed this out to
Elijah and Patty. I explained to them that this means that there are no
secrets in a marriage. Rather, there is to be an openness, one with the
other, about everything. Let me put it a bit differently. This verse is
talking about the intimacy of the soul. There is the inner you and the outer
you. The outer you is what people see or hear as they interact with you.
These are the things that you tell the world by your words and actions. The
inner you is more private. But not in when it comes to your spouse. There is
to be complete openness here; no secrets. This is how God defines marriage.
And so, your marriage will not succeed, it will not achieve the goal that
Jesus has placed before it, without this intimacy of soul. Is this difficult
to do? Certainly! We all have shared something more private with someone
only to have it crushed by that person's response. There is a bit of fear
that such a thing might happen again. But bear in mind the purpose of your
marriage. It is not your satisfaction, your comfort. It is to serve Jesus.
You cannot do that if you reject this part of His definition of what every
marriage – yours included – is to be. And think about it. How many marriage
problems can be traced back to a lack of intimacy of the soul – the secrets,
the refusals to open your heart to your spouse, to freely share what is in
there? Many of the marriage problems that relate to the intimacy of the body
are simply symptoms of problems when it comes to the intimacy of the soul.

Some of you are doing better than most when it comes to maintaining an
intimacy of the soul, but all married couples need to work at this.One
particular area of concern is the danger of distractions. You will have
problems when it comes to the intimacy of the soul if so much of your
attention is demanded elsewhere that there isn't the energy or even the
time – and it will take time and energy – to devote to sharing your heart
with your mate. One large distraction for many is, oddly enough, their
children. You become so focused on being a parent that you forget to be a
spouse. The priorities are reversed. What good is it to be able to say your
grown children are great successes if your marriage is a failure. And this
doesn't mean that you're on the brink of divorce. It just mean that there
has been the lack of intimacy of the soul which is at the heart of every
good marriage, the intimacy of the soul that is a necessary ingredient to
having a marriage that serves Christ well. And the fact of the matter is
that you won't have successful kids if your marriage isn't good. How can you
train them to serve Jesus well – the key to success – if in your marriage
you have failed to do that yourself? So, let me encourage you to fight to
for the growth of intimacy of soul in your marriages. It will be a battle.
The last thing the evil one wants is Godly marriages, which are powerful
tools in Jesus' hands.

Now, verse 23. 'Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and
flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of
Man." ' In your Bibles this is printed as poetry, as it should. Adam sings
for joy when he first meets his wife. There is an emotional rush when you
fall in love. Life feels a bit different. The sky is a little bluer. And
that's good. But it doesn't stay that way. You can't maintain that kind of
emotional high. That's not to say, however, that the joy should fade away.
The first thrills of love between two people shouldn't deteriorate over time
into the equivalent of a business partnership. The emotionally intense
feelings shouldn't just disappear. They should change. They should mature.
The passion is to deepen into something that the young lovers could never
have imagined. And so, the poetry remains, but it becomes better. There is
more and not less. But it's different. And that makes sense. You've spent
years getting to know this other person. The intimacy of the soul have grown
and borne good fruit. Your love has been challenged and it has overcome. The
song is wiser and happier. It brings more honor to Jesus. But this is not
automatic. Sin is crouching at the door. You must master it.

Three thoughts: the purpose of your marriage is to serve Christ. A necessary
ingredient is the intimacy of the soul. The joy can and should grow.

Now that word for those of us who are single. First, that we are single is
not some mistake on God's part. Everything is going exactly according to
plan. God has called us to be single. And why would He do that? The goal for
us is the same as the goal for the marrieds. Listen to Paul. 'The unmarried
man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the
married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his
interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about
the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married
woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.' [1
Cor7:32-34] In our singleness we are to serve Jesus. Because of our
singleness, we are able to do that in ways that married people cannot. We
need to take advantage of that. Being single can be an asset. But it may be
that some of you are thinking, 'But doesn't it say that it isn't good that
we are alone?' Yes, I know about that. But that just means that Jesus has
called us to suffer being alone for His sake and the sake of the Gospel.
Remember that Jesus was single, too. He dealt with that, in part, by
enjoying time in the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Maybe you also could
be invited to folks' homes to enjoy dinner with their families. This isn't
the first time I have told you that suffering is part of discipleship. But
there is still the question, 'Are we going to miss out? We are surrounded by
people who enjoy the pleasures of marriage. Will that pass us by? Will we
miss out?' Let me say two things about that. First, what if we were to miss
out? What if the pleasures that we set our hearts on never happen? Isn't
Jesus worth a little sacrifice? But having said that, let me also so say
that Jesus has promised that whatever is lost, for His sake and for the sake
of the Gospel, will be made good. There will be no 'missing out'. How can
there be since Jesus rules?

Let me say to all of you that the key to all of this is the Gospel. It all
comes back to repentance and faith. You need to repent when the prime goal
of your marriage or your singleness becomes something other than serving
Jesus. You need to repent when you keep something of your soul hidden from
your mate, rejecting God's command for intimacy of soul. You need to repent
when you allow the joy you once had in your spouse to fade away, and you opt
rather for some sort of business partnership with an occasional party. You
need to repent when you complain or give in to discontent because of Jesus'
call to singleness. You need to repent of such sins as soon as the Spirit
points them out. But then, you need to once again run to Jesus and embrace
Him. Embrace Him as the Savior who actually forgives sin, who never tires of
forgiving sin. Acknowledge your sins for what they are: reprehensible acts
of rebellion against a good and loving God. Then run to the Savior confident
that He will make them disappear. But do not stop here. Having, once again,
embraced Jesus as the Savior, come again to Him as Lord. He is the one for
whom you live and sacrifice and battle your sins and fears. And He is the
one who is full of grace to make success a reality for you. It always comes
back to the Gospel. Repent of your sins and come in faith to Jesus. It is in
this way, and only in this way, that you will honor Him with your life.