Today, we’re going to deal with a topic that is greatly misunderstood these
days. Today, we’re going to talk about submission. I have two goals in doing
this. First, I’d like to try to clarify some things about biblical
submission to distinguish from the errors of our day. My second goal is to
apply this in a particular area. I want to apply this to rearing children.
So, listen to hear what the Spirit has to say.
In our text we see Jesus expressing His own submission to the Father. He was
always seeking the will of Him who sent Him and not His own will. Jesus’
submission to the Father is a prominent theme in the Gospel of John. Let me
mention one other place in John where it shows up. ‘For I have come down
from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.’ [John
6:38] Jesus understood Himself as a man under authority. In this He provides
for us an example that we can imitate. We will refine our ideas about
submission by understanding Jesus’ example.
Before we go any further, let’s be clear what submission means. If you take
the word apart it speaks about being put under. Submission is being under
the authority of another. It has to do with authority structures, things
that we see throughout creation. So, when it came to the work of redemption,
Jesus understood Himself as under the authority of the Father. And so, He
willingly submitted to His will.
Now, let’s deal with some of the common myths and lies about submission. You
may not have heard these clearly stated. Many times things like this are
simply assumed by most. In this way they become part of the way a society
functions. So, for one thing, it is widely assumed that if someone submits
that is because he is, in some sense, less capable than the person to whom
he submits himself. It is a small hop, skip and a jump from this to seeing
submission as an admission of being second rate. And so, being submissive is
viewed as demeaning. Let’s examine that. Does that describe the relationship
that Jesus had with the Father? Did He submit because He was second rate or
somehow less capable? Was His submission humiliating? I think that it’s
obvious that that just isn’t the case. Actually, instead of being
humiliating, submitting to the Father’s will was something that enlivened
Jesus. Think about the situation with the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus
is weary and sits by the well while the disciples go off to buy food. He
then has His striking conversation with the woman. When the twelve return,
Jesus appears re-invigorated. So they ask, ‘Did someone get Him some food to
eat?’ How did Jesus answer His disciples? ‘My food is to do the will of him
who sent me and to accomplish his work.’ [John 4:34] Being submissive has
nothing to do with being second rate. Submission has everything to do with
how things work. Authority and submission are built into creation. Someone
leads and someone follows. Jesus submitted but was in no way demeaned by
that.
The next lie is that submission is blind and thoughtless obedience. There is
no discussion when there is submission. All the information goes in one
direction, from the person in charge to the person under his authority. The
person who is submitting is only supposed to smartly salute and blindly
obey. Really? Let’s test this one, too. What situation in Jesus’ life would
show the error here? Quite clearly, it’s Jesus praying in the Garden of
Gethsemane. What is going on there? It is the will of the Father that Jesus
drink deeply of the cup of the wrath of God. Jesus is supposed to go to the
cross. What does Jesus do? Does He merely smartly salute and go off to
death? Absolutely not! Rather, He asks the Father if there isn’t some way of
avoiding the cross. There is a discussion, and that was in no way being
insubordinate. Let me give you another example. After the Saul was
confronted on the road to Damascus, Jesus called Ananias to go and lay hands
on him so that he might regain his sight. And what did Ananias do? ‘Lord,
are you sure? I’ve heard stories about this fellow.’ Ananias raised
questions. And that was fine. Jesus answered the questions and renewed the
command. Authority isn’t tyranny. Submission doesn’t include a gag rule.
Now, lest I be misunderstood, let me say that there is a difference between
an honest question, on the one hand, and complaint and rebellion on the
other. Israel in the desert had a lot of questions about their situation.
But their questions came from a rebellious heart. They were being
insubordinate. And they were disciplined as a result. Submission allows for
proper discussion but not for complaint and rebellion or even stalling
tactics. There is a right way to raise a question. And there’s a wrong way.
It’s all tied up with the motives of the heart. But even when the questions
are proper, once the final decision is made, all discussion stops. At that
point you obey. And so, after raising His questions in the Garden, Jesus
submitted to the Father and went to the cross willingly.
We’ve looked at some of the myths and lies about submission. Now, we need to
look a little bit at the flip side of the coin. Listen to Hebrews 13.17.
‘Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your
souls, as those who will have to give an account.’ Here, I want you to
notice something about those in authority. These are held responsible for
how they use that authority. They will ‘give an account’ to God. And these
in authority will be scrutinized more strictly than those who are under
authority. James 3.1: ‘Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers,
for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.’ This
applies to all positions of authority whether in the Church, family, civil
government, business, wherever authority structures exist. This is the
protection against tyranny. Those in authority will be held accountable and
that more severely.
Now, I want to take all of this and apply it to children. To do that, I need
to refer to Ephesians. In Ephesians 5.18 Paul talks about being ‘filled with
the Spirit’. What immediately follows are four ways in which that filling
shows itself: ‘addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual
songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, giving
thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.’ [Ephesians
5:19-21] Paul then takes this last expression of being filled with the
Spirit, submission, and applies that to family life. He talks about wives
and husbands, children and parents, household slaves and masters. It’s what
he writes concerning children and parents that I want to focus on right now.
‘Children, obey your parents…’ [Ephesians 6.1] From all of this, I think
that it should be clear that one critical goal of the training of your
children is that they should learn how to submit. The family is an authority
structure and in that structure the children are to submit to their parents.
Here, I would remind you of Jesus’ example early in His life. ‘And [Jesus]
went down with [His parents] and came to Nazareth and was submissive to
them.’ [Luke 2:51] Children are to submit to their parents. Now, this is no
excuse for tyranny in the family. There needs to be opportunity for
appropriate discussion. But there is a clear line between asking an
appropriate question, and complaining or trying to stall obedience. You who
are parents need to watch that line very carefully. You will need to
carefully read the behavior of your children so that you can perceive the
motives of their hearts. They need to submit to you always, and especially
when they don’t like what you are requiring of them. Obedience is easy when
it is agreeable. The test of submission is when obedience is difficult –
like going to a cross. Also, realize that the line between an honest
question and a rebellious heart is one that moves as the child gets older. A
very young child needs to learn obey first, then ask questions. It may mean
the difference between life and death. But once that is established, and as
that child grows older, you’ll want to allow him more latitude to ask
questions to clarify what you are requiring of him.
Now, note the flip side. Who is in authority over the children? Paul is
clear in Ephesians. ‘Children, obey your parents…’ And yet, when he has
words for those in authority Paul writes, ‘Fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger… ’ [Ephesians 6:4] The rearing of children is a team
effort of mother and father to be sure, but God will hold the fathers more
accountable. You who are fathers need to keep that in mind. I know that you
are busy with your jobs and you depend on your wives for the day-to-day care
and training of the children, but God calls you to be careful how you use
your authority when it comes to your children. Don’t fall for the temptation
to leave it all to your wives. God holds you more accountable.
Finally, keep clearly in mind what the goal of all of this is. Why should
children be taught to submit to their parents? The answer is unmistakable.
They need to learn how to submit to their parents when they are young so
that they will be able to submit to their God when they become adults. You
are determining the quality of their Christian discipleship by the way you
train them to submit. There are Christians today who are really struggling
because they have never learned the lesson of submission. And sometimes the
struggle ends in their turning away altogether. You don’t want to have your
kids to be among them. So, teach them to submit. Teach them how and when to
ask those questions they may have. But clearly teach them where that line
between proper questions and subtle but very real rebellion lies. And then
pray. On your own, you will most certainly fail. But enabled by the grace of
God, you can’t lose. And as you are reminded of your failings as a parent
make that another opportunity to embrace the Gospel by repentance and faith.
Because of the Gospel, there is forgiveness of sin, including the sins of
parents.
