In our text this morning we see, once again, evidence of James’ concern for
the community of the saints. This verse is about the relationships within
the Church and how to protect them. We have seen James’ concern about this
several times before in his letter. And it is no wonder that he stresses it.
How often do people who were once close friends end up alienated because
they did not protect their relationship. This is significant not only
because of the effects that it has on the people involved but more so
because of how it undercuts the witness of the Church before the watching
world. This is a matter that we all need to give our attention to.
Let’s start with a clarification. In the history of the Church there have
been some well-meaning souls who have misunderstood this text. Because of
how they misunderstood it, they called for the saints to gather together so
that each one might confess his sins before the group. That isn’t what James
is talking about. Rather, James is telling these saints that they need to go
to any individual whom they have sinned against and confess that sin to that
person privately. Now, there are times when there needs to be a public
confession of sin. That’s when there has been a public sin. But when one
Christian sins against another, there is no need for anyone else to know.
Now, we’re ready to consider one of the assumptions of the text. James doesn
’t say this, but it’s clear that he assumes it. He assumes that in your
relationships you commit many sins. You sin against other people all the
time. That’s why you need to confess these sins. If you don’t see this, then
you’ll just think that this verse is for someone else. It isn’t. It’s for
you. You need to confess your sins. It’s good that we have a reading of God’
s Law each week. One purpose of that is to reveal to you the breadth of the
Law. It covers all sorts of situations. And it deals with the deep attitudes
of our hearts. As we become more familiar with God’s Law, we will see more
clearly how sinful we really are. And some of that sinfulness shows in our
relationships. Think about how you sometimes speak to others. Think about
the sharp tone that you sometimes use or the impatience that you express.
Think about how you are so self-centered at times, thinking about what’s
important to you and your schedule, instead of being sensitive to the other
person. We sin all the time. We treat others badly. James doesn’t mention
this. He doesn’t have to. It’s just too clear that it’s true. This verse is
for you.
Now, there is another assumption in our text, but before we look at that,
let’s ask a question. It will seem simple enough, but it’s also rather
important. It’s a practical ‘how-to’ question. How do you confess your sin
to another saint? I raise the question because there are a good number of
folk within the Church who aren’t so clear about this. This is important not
because there are some rules that we need to satisfy. It’s important because
failure to get this right may mean that the relationship that was damaged by
the sin won’t be restored. The damage done will never be repaired. We need
to get this right for the sake of our relationships. So, how do you confess
your sin to this other person whom you’ve sinned against? First, don’t
minimize your sin. You need to be clear about what you did. You need to set
out the whole truth of what you did. Don’t shade the truth a bit so you don’
t look so bad. What good is that? The other person needs to see that you
know exactly what you did. Confessing to some lesser offense will not heal
the relationship. It may actually make the problem worse. Be honest about
your sin! Next, don’t say anything about the other person’s sin. Simply
focus on your own sin. Sure, his sharp comment set you off on your tirade,
but you’re dealing with your sin, not his. Including some comment about the
other person’s sin is a way of making your sin seem not quite so bad. It’s a
kind of excuse. Don’t do it. It’s not honest confession. Focus on your own
sin. Next, let’s have none of this, ‘I’m sorry if I hurt you when I said …’
People are doing that kind of thing all the time. Whenever you sin, it
hurts. There’s no ‘if’ about it. But even if it didn’t hurt, it’s still sin.
So, drop the ‘if’. It’s just another way to make excuses, to soften how bad
your sin really is. Then, there’s the language of apology. Confession is not
an apology. There is a place for apologies. When you make a mistake about
someone’s name or accidentally step on someone’s foot, you offer an apology.
There was no sin involved. It was just a mistake. But when you sin, you
confess it as sin. It’s not an apology. There’s a big difference, and it
will show especially in how the other person needs to respond, as we’ll see
in a bit.
Having told you some things to avoid, I need to tell you what you should do.
First, state your sin in plain and honest language. ‘When I snapped at you
just a bit ago, I sinned.’ Or ‘I was being selfish when I said… That was
wrong.’ The key to every relationship is clear communication. This is
rapidly becoming a lost art. The other person shouldn’t have to guess what
you’re talking about or try to fill in the gaps on his own. This especially
applies to those times when you need to confess your sin. Next, express your
sense of sorrow. Now, words alone aren’t enough. Every child knows that ‘I’m
sorry’ are supposed to be the magic words that fix the problem. And every
adult who hears those words knows that magic doesn’t exist. The point here
isn’t what special words to use. The point here is to express your sorrow in
a way that communicates to the person standing in front of you. If, however,
you feel no sorrow, you’re not ready to confess your sin. If you feel no
sorrow, you’re not convinced that you actually sinned against this other
person. If that’s the case, don’t approach the other person. Instead, sit
down and have a chat with yourself. Did you sin, yes or no? If you haven’t,
then there’s nothing to confess. But if you did, then stop and consider what
you have done against this other person. Your sin has attacked this other
person in some way. Isn’t that enough to evoke true sorrow? Then, lastly,
ask for forgiveness. This is one place where the difference between an
apology and confession will show itself. Now, remember what it means to
grant forgiveness. When someone forgives he is making a promise to never
allow this sin to be an obstacle in the relationship. This person is saying
that he will never allow this sin to color his interaction with this other
person. Your confession must include this request. This request and the
response of the other person are extremely important. The sin must be fully
dealt with. And the way that it is dealt with is by the granting of
forgiveness.
This is where the second assumption comes in. James assumes that the person
who has been sinned against will, in fact, grant forgiveness and complete
the process. How do I know that? In so many places in his letter, James has
virtually repeated Jesus’ teachings found in the Gospels. And Jesus is quite
clear. Granting forgiveness is not optional. James knows this and assumes it
here. If some Christian confesses his sin to you, you need to forgive him.
There is no doubt about this. But some might wonder why. ‘Why should I
forgive someone who has just sinned against me? It’s one thing if it’s just
a little sin. But there are times when the sin really hurts. Real damage has
been done. Why should I forgive in those kinds of situations?’ There are
several ways to answer this question. Let me choose this one. You forgive
because you can.
I know that there are some sins that are very painful. And it’s hard to hear
that you need to forgive this person who has just wounded you so. It’s hard
to hear that you must promise to put this sin aside. But understand what is
at stake: a relationship. And you need to remember that we were made for
relationships. ‘Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should
be alone…" ’ [Genesis 2:18] Jesus is in the process of making us whole
again, and that includes restoring relationships, our relationship with the
Father and our relationships with each other. This is a key goal for Him. It
lies at the heart of the Gospel. The sin of this other person has done
damage to this relationship. But the Jesus has come so that you can forgive,
really forgive. And as you do this, you move the kingdom of God another step
forward. And that’s why you forgive. I’m not saying that granting
forgiveness will always be easy. Sometimes it will be very difficult. Some
sins wound deeply. But there is grace, isn’t there? Where would we be
without the grace of Jesus? It may take much prayer for grace to keep the
promise of forgiveness and to feel that the relationship has been restored,
but in time it will happen. The promise will be kept. The relationship will
be restored. The kingdom will move ahead. All by the grace of the Gospel of
Jesus. You forgive because you can.
When was the last time you went to someone to confess your sin? If it’s been
a while, is that because you haven’t sinned against anyone lately? Or is
there some other reason?
