HERE BEGINNETH THE FIVE AND SEVENTIETH CHAPTER
Of some certain tokens by the which a man may prove whether he be called of God
to work in this work
ALL those that read or hear the matter of this book be read or spoken, and in
this reading or hearing think it a good and liking thing, be never the rather
called of God to work in this work, only for this liking stirring that they feel
in the time of this reading. For peradventure this stirring cometh more of a
natural curiosity of wit, than of any calling of grace.
But, if they will prove whence this stirring cometh, they may prove thus, if
them liketh. First let them look if they have done that in them is before,
abling them thereto in cleansing of their conscience at the doom of
Holy Church, their counsel according. If it be thus, it is well inasmuch: but if
they will wit more near, let them look if it be evermore pressing in their
remembrance more customably than is any other of ghostly exercise. And if them
think that there is no manner of thing that they do, bodily or ghostly, that is
sufficiently done with witness of their conscience, unless this privy little
love pressed be in manner ghostly the chief of all their work: and if they thus
feel, then it is a token that they be called of God to this work, and surely
else not.
I say not that it shall ever last and dwell in all their minds continually, that
be called to work in this work. Nay, so is it not. For from a young ghostly
prentice in this work, the actual feeling thereof is ofttimes withdrawn for
divers reasons. Sometime, for he shall not take over presumptuously thereupon,
and ween that it be in great part in his own power to have it when
him list, and as him list. And such a weening were pride. And evermore when the
feeling of grace is withdrawn, pride is the cause: not ever pride that is, but
pride that should be, were it not that this feeling of grace were withdrawn. And
thus ween ofttimes some young fools, that God is their enemy; when He is their
full friend.
Sometimes it is withdrawn for their carelessness; and when it is thus, they feel
soon after a full bitter pain that beateth them full sore. Sometimes our Lord
will delay it by an artful device, for He will by such a delaying make it grow,
and be had more in dainty when it is new found and felt again that long had been
lost. And this is one of the readiest and sovereignest tokens that a soul may
have to wit by, whether he be called or not to work in this work, if he feel
after such a delaying and a long lacking of this work, that when it cometh
suddenly as it doth, unpurchased with any means, that he hath then
a greater fervour of desire and greater love longing to work in this work, than
ever he had any before. Insomuch, that ofttimes I trow, he hath more joy of the
finding thereof than ever he had sorrow of the losing.
And if it be thus, surely it is a very token without error, that he is called of
God to work in this work, whatsoever that he be or hath been.
For not what thou art, nor what thou hast been, beholdeth God with His merciful
eyes; but that thou wouldest be. And Saint Gregory to witness, that all holy
desires grow by delays: and if they wane by delays, then were they never holy
desires. For he that feeleth ever less joy and less, in new findings and sudden
presentations of his old purposed desires, although they may be called natural
desires to the good, nevertheless holy desires were they never. Of this holy
desire speaketh Saint Austin and saith, that all the life of a good
Christian man is nought else but holy desire.
Farewell, ghostly friend, in God's blessing and mine! And I beseech Almighty
God, that true peace, holy counsel, and ghostly comfort in God with abundance of
grace, evermore be with thee and all God's lovers in earth. Amen.
HERE ENDETH THE CLOUD OF UNKNOWING
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