HERE BEGINNETH THE THREE AND FIFTIETH CHAPTER
Of divers unseemly practices that follow them that lack the work of this book.
MANY wonderful practices follow them that be deceived in this false work, or in
any species thereof, beyond that doth them that be God's true disciples: for
they be evermore full seemly in all their practices, bodily or ghostly. But it
is not so of these other. For whoso would or might behold unto them where they
sit in this time, an it so were that their eyelids were open, he should see them
stare as they were mad, and leeringly look as if they saw the devil. Surely it
is good they be wary, for truly the fiend is not far. Some set their eyes in
their heads as they were sturdy sheep beaten in the head, and as
they should die anon. Some hang their heads on one side as if a worm were in
their ears. Some pipe when they should speak, as if there were no spirit in
their bodies: and this is the proper condition of an hypocrite. Some cry and
whine in their throats, so be they greedy and hasty to say that they think: and
this is the condition of heretics, and of them that with presumption and with
curiosity of wit will always maintain error.
Many unordained and unseemly practices follow on this error, whoso might
perceive all. Nevertheless some there be that be so curious that they can
refrain them in great part when they come before men. But might these men be
seen in place where they be homely, then I trow they should not be hid. And
nevertheless yet I trow that whoso would straitly gainsay their opinion, that
they should soon see them burst out in some point; and yet them think that all
that ever they do, it is for the love of God and for to maintain the
truth. Now truly I hope that unless God shew His merciful miracle to make them
soon leave off, they shall love God so long on this manner, that they shall go
staring mad to the devil. I say not that the devil hath so perfect a servant in
this life, that is deceived and infect with all these fantasies that I set here:
and nevertheless yet it may be that one, yea, and many one, be infect with them
all. But I say that he hath no perfect hypocrite nor heretic in earth that he is
not guilty in some that I have said, or peradventure shall say if God
vouchsafeth.
For some men are so cumbered in nice curious customs in bodily bearing, that
when they shall ought hear, they writhe their heads on one side quaintly, and up
with the chin: they gape with their mouths as they should hear with their mouth
and not with their ears. Some when they should speak point with their fingers,
either on their fingers, or on their own breasts, or on theirs that
they speak to. Some can neither sit still, stand still, nor lie still, unless
they be either wagging with their feet or else somewhat doing with their hands.
Some row with their arms in time of their speaking, as them needed for to swim
over a great water. Some be evermore smiling and laughing at every other word
that they speak, as they were giggling girls and nice japing jugglers lacking
behaviour. Seemly cheer were full fair, with sober and demure bearing of body
and mirth in manner.
I say not that all these unseemly practices be great sins in themselves, nor yet
all those that do them be great sinners themselves. But I say if that these
unseemly and unordained practices be governors of that man that doth them,
insomuch that he may not leave them when he will, then I say that they be tokens
of pride and curiosity of wit, and of unordained shewing and covetyse of
knowing. And specially they be very tokens of unstableness of heart
and unrestfulness of mind, and specially of the lacking of the work of this
book. And this is the only reason why that I set so many of these deceits here
in this writing; for why, that a ghostly worker shall prove his work by them.
our kind sponsors.
