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Christian Network

 
   
  Grazing The Greener Grass
 
Realizing Revival by following the Rules
 
Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14)
Preparing for this message in our series gave me the most pause. It seems that 
this is a difficult passage to discuss. Sexuality was a taboo topic when I was 
growing up, and even as an adult it is a topic difficult for me to talk about. 
Another factor is the make up of our congregation, the urgency of this passage 
just doesn't seem to be there when dealing with our family here. Yet in order to 
complete the series it was necessary to overcome these stumbling blocks and look 
for a way to present this commandment in such a way as to feed you spiritually, 
while not offending you at the same time. I fully recognize that almost all of 
you are Senior Adults, and most of you have had, or still continue to have 
long-lasting Holy Spirit filled marriages. It is my prayer this morning that 
through the presentation of God's Word today you will be able to carry something 
home with you that you might be able to use in your walk with Christ. Perhaps 
you may use something said this morning to help another couple whose 
relationship is in danger. Perhaps through the presentation of God's Word you 
will find God's wonderful forgiveness for past indiscretions. Please allow the 
Holy Spirit to guide you this morning as we break the bread of life together.
  The 1631 edition of the King James Bible came to be known as the Wicked Bible. 
  When it was being compiled, the printers made an error and one word was left 
  out of Exodus 20:14. The word, "not", was accidentally excluded and the verse 
  read, "Thou shalt commit adultery." On the basis of our society's morals it 
  seems to me that there are many who would prefer the edition of the Wicked 
  Bible. Sexual sin and adultery is widespread in our culture today. Studies 
  reveal that 40 to 50 percent of all married men have had an extramarital 
  affair. One survey pointed out that nearly 70 percent of all married men under 
  the age of forty expect to have an extramarital relationship. Can you believe 
  that! Seventy percent of an entire age group expect to be unfaithful to their 
  wives. Men however are not alone in this. Studies also reveal that 41 percent 
  of married women admit that they have cheated on their husbands. Maybe you are 
  thinking, "I know it's bad in our secular society, but it is not a problem 
  among Christians." I wish that were true. In a survey of subscribers to 
  "Christianity Today" magazine, 45 percent of the respondents admitted to 
  having committed adultery. Josh McDowell, who has done extensive studies of 
  Christian young people in the area of sexual purity, states that his surveys 
  have revealed that even among young people in evangelical churches in America 
  43% of them say they have become sexually active before the age of 18. Billy 
  Graham has called immorality an epidemic in our churches in America.... 
  Copied from http://www.zoomnet.net/~dooley/time7.txt
It seems, if you listen to modern day moralists, that infidelity is a 90's 
problem. It seems like we have reached epidemic proportions, and it seems that a 
monogamous relationship is relatively rare. Yet if we lay all of the blame on 
our current permissive society, we are not being totally honest. Adultery is not 
a 90's problem, it is not a product of the 60's sexual revolution. It is not a 
result of the invention of the birth control pill, or the legalization of 
abortion. Adultery is a human problem, dating back to the beginning of time. It 
is not something new that we have to deal with, it is instead a problem that has 
plagued mankind for thousands of years. It is a plague that is curable if we 
would follow the prescription. God was aware of our human failings and gave us a 
way to keep from allowing it in our lives. 
This morning we are going to decide what adultery is, why it is important to not 
commit it, what causes it, and how we can avoid it.
What is Adultery?
The first problem we encounter when talking about the 7th Commandment is 
deciding just what it means. What is adultery? We are not alone in our 
confusion, as witnessed in this exchange with a small child:
  As children's pastor, I listened as a fourth-grade Sunday school teacher 
  shared a concern. Completing a quarter's lessons on the Ten Commandments, he 
  had asked the kids, "What is the hardest Commandment for you to keep?" to 
  which most of them responded, "Thou shalt not commit adultery." 
  We couldn't understand why fourth graders would find that command a problem 
  until a mother quizzed her son on what he thought committing adultery meant. 
  Without blinking, the boy replied, "Thou shalt not sass back to adults." 
  Sheryl Tedder, Omaha, Nebraska. Christian Reader, "Kids of the Kingdom." 
That sounds amusing, and makes us chuckle a little bit, but the reality is that 
we as adults have a difficult time defining adultery. Part of our difficulty 
lies in our natural reticence to discuss sexual matters. We have learned over 
our lives, and rightfully so I might add, that some things just aren't 
discussed. But perhaps we have done lasting damage to generations after us by 
making sex a taboo topic. God created sexual relations, and sex is a beautiful, 
wonderful creation. It is a method of expressing the God given love between a 
man and a woman. It is not the dirty act that most of us carry in our mind, nor 
was it given to us by God simply for procreation. God gave us this beautiful 
relationship to enhance our pleasure with our spouse. 
However, here lies the first facet of adultery. Sex was intended to be between a 
man and a woman joined together in a bond of commitment. This is the only 
acceptable form of sexual expression to God. One man, One woman joined together 
in a bond of matrimony. All other forms of sexual expression are sinful and to 
be considered adultery. This bond of matrimony is a sacred vow. Men, we vow 
before God and man to remain faithful to that one woman that God has given us. 
Women, we vow before God and man to remain faithful to that one man that God has 
given us. Any deviation from that vow and we have wandered into the very 
dangerous territory of adultery.
Another facet of this commandment lies in what the King James Version of the 
Bible likes to call fornication. I believe that this prohibition against 
adultery covers all manner of sexual sin including pre-marital as well as 
extra-marital sex. Nowadays when we want to get married, we go to the clerk of 
the court, pay our money, sign a license, then find an approved person to 
perform a legal binding ceremony. The marriage contract is a legally binding 
document and must be attended to according to the laws of your locality. In the 
State of Florida any ordained minister can legally perform a ceremony, as can a 
justice of the peace, a circuit court judge, a ship captain while in open 
waters, and a notary public. To God however, the marriage contract is much, much 
more than just a legal document. It is a promise. A bond. In ancient days 
marriage didn't have all these legal documents and licenses and such. A man took 
a man to become his wife by having sexual relations with her. This act of love 
was the bond of the relationship and signified marriage. This is why pre-marital 
sex is prohibited in this command. Following this line of logic, a person is 
married to each person he or she has sexual relations with. Can you begin to see 
the havoc this wreaks upon God's ideal of one man and one woman for eternity? 
How many of us are running around today as virtual bigamists because of sexual 
impurity? Any sex outside the bonds of marriage is forbidden by this 
commandment. Again, marriage is God's ideal of one man, and one woman, any other 
sexual relations are not acceptable to God.
  There is no getting away from it: the old Christian rule is "Either marriage, 
  with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence." 
  Chastity is the most unpopular of our Christian virtues. 
  -- C.S. Lewis, 20th century Christian author. Men of Integrity, Vol. 1, no. 1.
Perhaps however, we feel confident we have not violated God's commandment here. 
We don’t have much to worry about, or so we think. Let's turn to the third facet 
of this commandment. Let's see what Jesus had to say about adultery. 
  The Holy Bible, King James Version 

  Matthew 5:27 through Matthew 5:30
  27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit 
  adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust 
  after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29And if thy 
  right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is 
  profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy 
  whole body should be cast into hell. 30And if thy right hand offend thee, cut 
  it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy 
  members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Now then…that changes the complexion of this discussion a bit doesn't it? Jesus 
is telling us that you and I have to control our thoughts as well as our 
actions. You see if we can control our thoughts, the temptation to do the action 
will not be there. Now let's be clear here. We are not talking about seeing a 
beautiful woman walking down the road, and we notice her beauty. We are not 
talking about a woman seeing a handsome man pass by and she notices that he is 
nice looking. We are talking about seeing that same man or woman and longing for 
them. Wanting to be with them instead of our spouse. This, according to Christ, 
is adultery too. Adultery obviously begins in the heart.
Why is this command important?
First, violating this command attacks the foundation of marriage which God has 
set up. When you have sexual relations with a person, this unique union makes 
you one with that person. You have given of yourself to them. This type of gift 
is not a casual gift. When we violate this commandment, we destroy the trust 
that is necessary to maintain a marriage relationship. 
Second, violating this command breaks the relationship between you and God. God 
cannot tolerate a sinful lifestyle. When you and I live our lives outside of the 
will of God, we are damaging our relationship with Him. We must avoid sexual sin 
in order to maintain the connection we need with God.
The last two reasons this command is important really fall hand in hand with the 
first reason. Adultery causes great pain and suffering to all those involved. It 
causes pain to those that we love the most. It is difficult for the injured 
spouse to understand how it could have happened, and they often begin to blame 
themselves for the other one to cheat. This destroys a person's self esteem, and 
often causes depression. It also destroys families. Many marriages are ruined 
because of an adulterous relationship, and those families are split apart. We 
must guard against sexual impurity to protect those that we love the most.
Causes of Adultery
What causes us engage in such self-destructive behavior? Why would we do such 
things? Well for one reason, we are sinful creatures. It would be nice and easy 
for us to place the blame on our society. It would be an easy out to just say 
that society made me the way I am and let it go with that. But as we have noted, 
this problem of adultery is not a new one. Basically we are sinners. We have 
fallen short of the glory of God and we find it difficult to remain sinless. We 
also have a tendency to be dissatisfied with what we have, and to always be 
looking for something else. In essence, we always want to graze in the greener 
pastures. We have failed to appreciate the wondrous blessings that we have 
already been given. 
Another factor in the prevalence of adultery is an unrestrained lifestyle. Many 
of you lived during the 60's. Most of you were not participants of that time, 
but you were alive during what became known as the sexual revolution. That sort 
of undisciplined lifestyle, where anything is permissible leads to a degradation 
of moral values. We must maintain spiritual and physical discipline in our lives 
to guard against any sin, but especially sexual sin. 
How to Avoid Adultery
So, how do we avoid this disastrous sin? How do we guard against sexual 
impurity? Allow me to outline several suggestions. First marry a Christian. This 
may seem trivial, but if your spouse is a Christian the two of you can rely on 
each other in the Lord to overcome temptation. A Christian couple has resources 
that an unequally yoked couple would not be able to draw upon.
Next, make Christ the center of your family life. Everything that you and your 
family do must be centered upon Christ. He cannot be a side note or an after 
thought. If your life is centered around Christ, the temptations will be less 
attractive. Christ should permeate your life in all things. Christ should go 
with you to work, to play, to school...wherever you are, Christ should be at the 
heart of it. When Christ is the center of your life, you will avoid making 
choices in friends that will encourage sexual sin. You will surround yourselves 
with other Christ-like people.
Finally, make your spouse a priority in your life. Make him or her the most 
important person in your life. "I Only Have Eyes For You" should be more than 
just a trite saying, it should be reality in our lives. Men, make your wife feel 
special, make her feel important. A lot of discussion has gone on about the wife 
being submissive, but men, put your wife up on a pedestal. Adore her, love her 
with all of your heart. Let her know that there is no one else that can ever be 
as important to you as she is. Continue to court each other as you did before 
you married. Get to know each other so well that you meet each other's needs, 
both physically and emotionally. If you are meeting each other's needs, there 
will be less of a temptation to go elsewhere. Then avoid situations that are 
temptations. Watch your friendships, watch your actions, and be vigilant lest 
this deadly sin slip past your guard and destroy not only your life, but the 
lives of those around you.
This sin is not unforgivable. God can and will forgive an adulterer. The blood 
of Jesus can cover even this. But it is easier on those around us if we simply 
avoid sexual sin rather than rely on the forgiveness for it. If you are guilty 
of sexual sin, ask forgiveness, even if it is painful. Ask for it from both your 
spouse and your God. Listen to this testimony of forgiveness:
  I went to Promise Keepers in Indianapolis, knowing God was going to deal with 
  me in an area I had held on to for over a year. It's tragic to admit, but I 
  had been unfaithful to my wife. Sure enough, God told me to tell her. I was 
  frightened by the thought, yet I knew I had to tell her. 
  When I arrived home, after trying to ignore the conviction of the Holy Spirit, 
  I acted upon God's promise, and I told my wife. It was the hardest thing I've 
  ever had to do, but God has been faithful. 
  My wife was very hurt and is still going through the process of healing, but 
  she is committed to our marriage. God truly forgives a repentant heart. God 
  honored my honesty. I had to be anchored in him to survive the storm that 
  followed, but if I wanted to reach the full potential that a godly marriage 
  has to offer, I had to confess, both to God and to my wife. 
  -- A promise keeper in Tennessee. Men of Integrity, Vol. 1, no. 2. 
We must give our best to God, and to our mates. Nothing less is acceptable. Will 
you give our best to God today?

Copyright © 1998 by Rev. Charles S. Mims, All rights reserved